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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360547">Ich fühle dich</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wahnsinn/pseuds/Wahnsinn'>Wahnsinn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rammstein one-shots [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rammstein</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comfort, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Gen, Light Angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:00:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wahnsinn/pseuds/Wahnsinn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Recording is taking its toll on both Richard and Till.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Richard Kruspe &amp; Till Lindemann</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rammstein one-shots [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ich fühle dich</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The setting for this is the recording of <i>Liebe ist für alle da</i> in Sonoma, California in 2008/2009. It is inspired by <a href="http://rammstein.ru/uploads/posts/2012-04/1333660702_rammstein-ru_olaf-heine-sonoma-2008_05.jpg">this picture</a> by Olaf Heine.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The picturesque blue and red colours of the evening sky made a perfect backdrop for the silhouette of a man sitting by himself on a wooden chair, one leg crossed over the other, a cigarette in his hand. Every now and then he would lift the cigarette to his mouth, inhale deeply, and send a puff of smoke out into the warm Sonoma air.</p><p>Lying in a pool chair with his laptop on his stomach, Till studied the smoking man. There was something sensual about the way he closed his lips around the cigarette, pursing them slightly, as if kissing it. Catching himself pursing his own lips, Till shook his head, laughing a bit at himself.</p><p>The sound from Till made Richard turn. Till could not make out his expression fully, but he imagined that his eyebrows were raised in that very Richard way, the slightly surprised and slightly annoyed look he had when disturbed while in his own thoughts. The thought of that made Till smile, but when Richard turned away again, Till could not see any hint of a smile on the outline his friend’s face, just a furrowed brow and a clenched jaw.</p><p>Recording was in a rough phase. They were in that stage where everyone was a bit antsy. The initial rush of being in the studio again was gone, and the strong opinions on every little detail started to wear on everyone. Some were missing their families and their everyday life, and all of them seemed to seek more and more time alone.</p><p>Till had his own little refuge in the smaller house on the properties they were renting. The others knew how important it was to him to have peace and quiet while working on his lyrics, and did not object to him staying there by himself. When the weather allowed it, he spent a lot of time in the gazebo, reading, thinking, gathering inspiration. Then he’d get his laptop and start on the meticulous task of writing, re-writing, and tweaking, constantly worrying if the others would like his work. Most of the time he just gave them the printed sheets before he took off to pace restlessly around while waiting for their verdict.</p><p>To clear his head, he took several long, daily swims in the pool outside the house. There had been times where the mere thought of swimming turned him off due to the rigorous training he had gone through in his youth. Though the familiarity of the water surrounding him and the ease of his movement through the element was soothing to him, and he found that lap by lap, his head would shut off just a little more. So regardless of the weather, he would make himself get in the pool, and once there, he knew he would not regret it.</p><p>Looking at Richard again, he saw that he had lit another cigarette. For a brief moment, he worried about the guitarist smoking too much, but he quickly shook it off. They all had their vices, and Till had plenty of his own. One of them was worrying too much. He would be lying if he said he didn’t worry about Richard’s mental state.</p><p>Recording had always been hard on Richard. It was hard on everyone, but for someone who wanted to be in control of everything, even the uncontrollable, it could be almost torturous. Richard had come a long way since the start of their career. Therapy had helped him, it had helped them all, and it had also made Till more aware of the subtle signs of distress.</p><p>Lately, Richard had pulled away from the others. He had been quiet and moody, but he had still sought closeness. Till had grown used to seeing him sit in the chair by his house after their recording sessions. In the beginning, he had tried to strike up a conversation, but Richard had been content with just sitting there in silence, smoking, sometimes playing the guitar, while enjoying the view as the sun set after yet another long and exhausting day of work.</p><p>That is why Till wasn’t bothered by his presence anymore. Even though he preferred to be alone while working, he found that he didn’t mind having Richard there. In fact, he drew inspiration from seeing the outline of his friend against the evening sky. There was so much beauty in him. Not just physically. Till would not deny that Richard was a handsome man, but it was the inner beauty that made him so fond of the guitarist he had known for so many years.</p><p>There was a softness and a vulnerability in him that many did not see because of the rock star appearance that he worked so hard to keep up, an appearance that many mistook for arrogance. Richard was easily the most emotional of them all, and he genuinely appreciated the love from his fans, no, he needed it in order to be able to love himself, if only for a few moments. Till saw the man behind the façade, the real Richard, the passionate man he had come to care so much about.</p><p>After all, Richard was the one that had seen him back in the day. Back when he had been a basket weaver singing to himself while working. When he had played the drums not because he was good at it, but because he wanted to be a part of the music scene because that was where the girls were. When he had been insecure about everything, but Richard had still wanted him for his new band project, a project that had launched them into a fairy-tale none of them could have thought of even in their wildest dreams.</p><p>Maybe that is why he felt so connected to Richard despite their differences. Where Richard would go headfirst into conflict and discussions, Till would pull away, try to adapt, while letting others make the final decisions. They were both emotional, but while Till was good at suppressing his inner demons, Richard fought openly with his. Repeated arguments about personal fulfilment versus what was the best for the band had brought those demons to the surface again, and it had been a while since Till had seen Richard smile a genuine smile.</p><p>A tiny flame shot up as the guitarist lit yet another cigarette. Glancing at his screen, Till read through the lyrics he was working on. <i>Ich fühle dich.</i> There was still something missing, but he just couldn’t find the right words. He looked over at Richard, smiling wearily as he closed his laptop. The sound made Richard turn again, but he made no attempt to move. Till saw his head follow his movements as he put the laptop away, and he heard a faint sound of amusement as he struggled to get out of the pool chair.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, you’re not that much younger than me,” Till mumbled, as much to himself as to Richard. Stretching his stiff muscles, he strolled over to the smoking man and put a big hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“Come,” Till said, tugging lightly at his friend.</p><p>Richard didn’t reply. Staring blankly into the air, he took a deep drag of his cigarette, then exhaled slowly, a thin line of smoke. Most of the light was gone. Only a strip of red outlined the horizon. <i>Wenn ich blute hast du Schmerzen,</i> Till thought, tugging at Richard again. “Come swim with me.”</p><p>Richard huffed, still not looking at Till. “I didn’t bring my swimming trunks.”</p><p>“I didn’t either,” Till replied, making Richard turn and look at him with an utterly confused expression before they both burst out in laughter.</p><p>“You stupid, stupid man.” Richard poked Till in the stomach, shaking his head, but he still had a big smile on his face, and when Till pulled at him again, he reluctantly put out his cigarette and stood up.</p><p>They undressed in silence, comfortable with being naked around the other. Till liked that. Over the years, they had both had times where they were less satisfied with their own looks, often to the point where they were unwilling to perform with bare chests like they always did in the beginning. Though Till loved Richard in any shape or form, and especially the smiling one.</p><p>Having stripped first, he gave Richard a loud kiss on the cheek before gliding gracefully into the water. The wet embrace was chilly, but welcoming, and he let his body slide underwater until he had to get up for air.</p><p>Richard was still not done undressing. Dragging his hands through his wet hair, Till let his eyes rest on his friend’s body as he neatly folded his clothes and put them on a chair. <i>It’s been a while,</i> Till thought briefly as Richard let his boxers fall to the floor, quickly shaking that thought. After all, that was his own vice, one that the band members had been forced to live with throughout their entire career thanks to his lyrics. Sure, he missed sex, but maybe most of all, physical contact.</p><p>Till giggled a little as Richard dipped his toes into the water, shuddering from the cold. For a moment, he wondered if he was going to back out, but he was quickly proved wrong as the guitarist unceremoniously cannonballed into the water, sending a big splash straight into his face.</p><p>“Fuck, it’s cold,” Richard shuddered as his head emerged, his black hair all messy, a smug grin on his face as Till rubbed water out of his eyes after the unexpected shower.</p><p>“Let’s swim.” Till started moving with long breaststrokes, waiting for his friend to catch up. He let Richard set the pace, a slow one, but he could always make up for that later.</p><p>They swam in silence, quiet splashes of water interrupting the crickets chirping around them. Till welcomed the familiar peace of mind as they put more and more laps behind them, pleasantly surprised at Richard’s stamina. When the guitarist stopped to hang over the edge of the pool, breathing heavily, Till had reached a satisfying state of calmness himself.</p><p>The night was not that cold yet, but Richard shivered as they climbed out of the pool. Till led the way into the house. Fetching a big towel, he wrapped it around Richard, rubbing him lightly to help him get warm before heading to the bathroom to find a towel for himself.</p><p>“Hey Till?”</p><p>Till turned around. Richard stood in the doorway, the towel wrapped around him, still shivering, looking a bit lost.</p><p>“Yes?” Till finished drying himself off.</p><p>“Could I sleep here tonight? I just – I am too tired to walk back.” Richard’s voice was unusually quiet.</p><p>Till knew it was a lie, but he didn’t care. “Of course,” he smiled, pulling Richard into a hug, kissing him lightly on the forehead. He could hear the sigh of relief and he felt Richard relax in his arms as he turned off the light and led him back to the bedroom. They should have showered, but he figured that could wait till the morning.</p><p>“I sleep naked,” Till remarked as he slipped under the covers.</p><p>“Of course you do.” Richard tried to sound sarcastic, but the smile gave him away as he dropped his towel and crawled into the double bed.</p><p>Till turned off the lamp on the nightstand, and darkness filled the room. “Sleep well, Scholle.”</p><p>He smiled to himself as heard the disapproving sound from his friend, a smile that widened when he felt Richard move closer and snuggle up to him. Till welcomed the physical contact, wrapping his arm around Richard to allow him to rest his head on his chest. The feeling of skin against skin soothed him. <i>Ich verlass dich nicht,</i> he thought. He had to remember that line.</p><p>“Sleep well, Till,” Richard said, letting his arm rest on Till’s stomach. “And don’t you dare getting a boner.”</p><p>Till didn’t reply. He just sighed contently as he felt Richard’s warmth chasing his own demons away.</p><p><br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The lyrics lines in the story are from the Rammstein song <i>Führe mich</i>.</p><p>Feedback is always appreciated. Thank you for reading.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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